I feel like a crook

Jenny honey - listen to these peep that care about you - learn from the lessons learned by others- if you are STILL stressed over the money -which you shouldn't be - just ask if the person who organized would be willing to acept from you an accounting of how you spend it - b/c you know those medical bills, house payments and chemo meds are so cheap right? you shouldn't have ANY problem spending that money on things like that - or Rhi's preschool or car insurance -you know all those small trivial things that are getting harder to pay missing Eric's checks on chemo weeks:)

I know everyone has told you to take and it and say thank you - do that and then do an accounting and go from there - You can not give it back, you should not refuse it, you can only do your very best with it -

thats my 2 cents honey I KNOW you are an honest person and YOU know it too. You never intended to do wrong and I (and all the others who have posted) do NOT think YOU did ANYTHING wrong.

hugs sweetie - give me a call when you aren't sleeping today - hate to call and wake you
love ya
Danni

On top of the WONDERFUL things our family here has already said...If I was a customer/daycare parent and saw the flyer, I bet all I would REALLY see was that it was for Rhi's DAD and that he has CANCER-both of which are TRUE TRUE TRUE. I just don't think any NORMAL people would sweat the other stuff-and I wish you could stop worrying about it. You didn't do anything wrong, my sister. ((((HUGS))))

So once I learned of the back story they were promoting on fliers and newsletters, I contacted the main school board leader and apologized for not updating her of our situation. I have yet to hear back from her (she's very good at returning e-mails. So is she out or is she so disgusted with me that she can barely type a response? Paranoia is definitely kicking in.) My thoughts are

jENNY  -  First of all BREATHE !!       You did what you could at the time when you thought about it.    Its not like you haven't had other things on your mind !!       You have notified the top person within the school dist.  She is probably on vacation or thinking about a "business" type of reply and had to get with her other peoples too for the reply.................You did right.  You are pro-active type of person................can't just sit around waiting for stuff to happen.   things change hourly when cir****tances happen in life..........sometimes for the good( in your case) and sometimes in the bad.............................

you all are a good person.   It is the time of year when you are in a position that you have to accept help from others that makes one feel guilty because there is so many charities out there that need help.  I think that it is natural to feel guilty.....................AS someone else said.........JUST PAY IT FORWARD WHEN YOU CAN.    THE ONLY PERSON THAT IT MATTERS TO IS IN BETWEENYOU ALL AND  GOD !!   

Jenny - first I'm very sorry to hear about all of this and especially dealing with cancer.  I can only hope and pray everything works and healing is in your immediate future!!!!

As for the money - it sounds like you have done everything possible to be honest and above reproach in handling the situation.  Some of this was out of your hands, so accept it in the spirit in which it's intended.  Sounds like a lot of folks were spreading their love for you and your family :)

A quick story I'd like to share having been on the receiving end of gracious generosity when I was younger....  My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer when I was 10.  At that time, treatments, medication and general knowledge was no where near what it is today and he fought a battle for 8 months before passing on December 17th.  During this time, I lived with our neighbors as my mother spent all her waking hours either working (so we could keep our house) or at the hospital spending time with dad as he was only able to come home 2 times during the whole ordeal.   Mom sold all her jewlery and everything else she could at the time just keep us afloat...

The really neat part of this whole story I didn't understand until year's later....   We were able to keep the house because the people at my mother's work took up collections and secretly passed buckets of money to her through family.  People paid the bills - electric, water, phone, car payments - everything!!!   And, on Christmas eve, a man dressed as Santa came to our door (we had no idea he was coming or even who it was to this day) carrying a large sack of presents for my mom and I.   That's a memory that I will always carry at Christmastime.  To say the least, we were not in a celebrating mood, but these folks made our holiday special.

So, I tell you all this to simply say - sometimes the best thing you can do is simply say thank you and gather strentgh to fight the battles you have on the horizon.

Jenny - my thoughts and prayers are with you all - sending lots of healing love your way!

Hi Jenny~
I don't have any rivoting information to add....I ditto what the others have said. I know that if it were my money that was spent at Schlotsky's and I found out later that the details had been a bit misconstrued I personally wouldn't be upset in the least. Eric IS out of work when he is undergoing chemo, you DID NOT have insurance at the get -go, and as we all know insurance doesn't pay everything. The spirit of giving is to bless those who need......  you HAVE needs! House payments, food and all else are legitimate needs.

Please hand this over to G-d and stop stressing about it. One more stress in your life is not needed right now.

love you girl!

We have already talked about this, so you know my thoughts.  You have done everything you need to, and you cannot add more stress and worry to your load about this.  Your job is to care for yourself, Rhi and Eric.  To love them and keep doing what you can to find a new normal for you all.  Please give this worry to God let Him handle it as He's handled so many other "little" things for you.  You are not a crook, you did not lie, you have not taken advantage of anyone.  You're going to have to believe us on this one until you know it in your heart.  

I know accepting help is hard for you and an uncomfortable place to be.  But you have to remember that sometimes offering financial assistance is the only way people can reach out to you.  You have people all over who love and care about you guys and want to help in ways that they can. 

Debbi

Thank you all. It's been a rough couple days as I take it all in. I don't have a problem being a gracious receiver from people I know, but I am certainly struggling with people I don't know. I have always errored on the side of caution when it came to people I don't know (heck - even people I do know) so this is all so very new to me. I hate not being able to say thank you to everyone who has helped my family so as of right this second I make the committment to pay it forward to honor the people who are helping me. It's the least I can do. And maybe that's what these givers were offering up as well. All I know is when it comes down to it for my turn to help, I won't really care what the details are anyway.   

Thanks again, everyone.

Jenny I agree with what everyone said especially Kris....her and Stephanie always put it just like it should be said.....

just say thank you......and like Ms Que and others said just pay it forward.....

Jenny ~ I dont have any great words of wisdom for you.   I DITTO everything that everyone has said to you!

You have handled ALL of this so amazing.........nobody never can know what they would do until they are put in a situation............  You need to take care of yourself and not get stressed out over things you have no control of..........

We love you and are here for you!!!

Hugs B~

To hell with the fairy farts and rainbows....

Does Eric STILL have the horrendous disease CANCER?  YEP.

Do you STILL have a ****load of bills in front of you and more to come? YEP.

Is Eric's work future set in stone even with time that might be missed with chemo treatments that can knock him to his knees?  NOPE!

Are you living the same life you were...say...6 months ago?  HELL NO!

Can you predict what will happen tomorrow or next week?  HELL NO!

Now, smile and say thank you thank you thank you.  This is the season when people want/need to help others and that's just what they've done.  Even if you aren't in DIRE need now, you WERE and you don't know that you won't be next week.  We'll pray you won't but no one can predict that.  You need this.  You need this help.  It's not a matter of "deserving" it...it's a simple case of NEED.

People gave from the heart and you just need to receive it that way.